Thursday, June 3, 2010

My top 50 favorite villains of film!

50. Blake
Alec Baldwin, Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)

While he isn't exactly a villain in the traditional sense, he is pretty intimidating. Sales are very important to him.







49. Billy Mitchell
Billy Mitchell, the King of Kong (2007)

Just look at this guy.









48. The Bear

Bart the Bear, the Edge (1997)

This guy just will not chill out!









47. Jake Mazursky

Ben Foster, Alpha Dog (2006)


This just goes to show you what a horrifying, terrible villain meth can turn you into. He does some spectacular karate kicks and punches a girl in the face really, really hard.










46. The Bully

Eric Campbell, Easy Street (1917)

This guy just won't stop beating up cops!









45. Lord Bullingdon

Leon Vitali, Barry Lyndon (1975)

This guy's a crybaby and needs to get over it.









44. Alcohol & Peer Pressure
ensemble, Husbands (1970)

Alcohol and peer pressure causes these guys to make some pretty questionable decisions in my opinion.








43. Luther
David Patrick Kelly, The Warriors (1979)

This guy has the best motivation of any villain ever. "I just like doing things like that!"






42. The Bad Lieutenant
Harvey Keitel, Bad Lieutenant (1992)

He calls Jesus a rat fucker!







41. Klaus Kinski
Klaus Kinski, My Best Fiend: Klaus Kinski (1999)

This guy was a great actor. He was also a raving lunatic who was a hugely antagonistic force in the lives of everyone he knew.








40. The Predator
Kevin Peter Hall, Predator (1987)


This jerk comes to our planet to hunt people like it's a totally cool thing to do?






39. Vincent
Tom Cruise, Collateral (2004)


Ok, so this guy gets into a cab and forces an innocent guy to drive him around so that he can kill some people. He's also a condescending jerk.






38. Racial Tension
Ensemble, Do the Right Thing (1989)

I think this one speaks for itself.










37. Mr. Frank Teague

James Karen, Poltergeist (1982)

This son of a bitch moved the head stones but he didn't move the bodies!









36. Enid
Thora Birch, Ghost World (2001)

What a selfish, manipulative, terrible asshole.










35. Deebo
Tiny 'Zeus' Lister Jr., Friday (1995)


This guy goes around the neighborhood snatching chains and beating women. He also steals a bike.









34. Dr. René Belloq
Paul Freeman, Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)


An asshole European counterpart. I think we all have one.








33. Jason Voorhees
various (most notably Kane Hodder), Friday the 13th series (1980-2009)


A retarded zombie who kills you for having sex or doing drugs. That's pretty scary.







32. Henri Verdoux
Charles Chaplin, Monsieur Verdoux (1947)

Henri Verdoux is a charming, hilarious murderer who marries old widowed women and then kills them for the inheritance. Once he's caught he gives a speech about how what he's done is nothing compared to all the people who have been killed in war, which I'm pretty sure Chaplin thought was some really poignant social commentary but it just comes off as a cheap, last ditch effort to get out of what he's done.






31. Captain Bligh

Anthony Hopkins, the Bounty (1984)


First this guy makes everybody leave the awesome naked lady island, then he flips out over some God damn coconuts! What a jerk!









30. T-1000
Robert Patrick, Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

This guy is a robot sent from the future to kill this kid. He is made of liquid metal and he can turn into anything. He's pretty scary.









29. Agamemnon & Menelaus
Brian Cox & Brendan Gleeson, Troy (2004)

These are a couple of assholes who start a huge war over one of their wives ditching, but really it's just to get some more land. A lot of people died because of these pricks.






28. The Joker
Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight (2008)


He's a large scale terrorist with no connections and essentially no motive. He wears a clown costume.










27. Raymond Lemorne

Bernard-Pierre Donnadieu, The Vanishing (1988)


This guy is a creep. He fetishistically practices kidnapping women, then once he actually does it he won't stop rubbing it people's faces!




26. Pazuzu
Linda Blair, The Exorcist (1973)

He kills a priest and pretty much ruins this little girl's life.








25. Sands
Johnny Depp, Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003)


This guy tries to completely destroy Mexico's government and send the entire country into widespread panic for a relatively small amount of money.






24. Caiaphas
Bob Bingham, Jesus Christ Superstar (1973)

Judas and Pilate take a lot of flack, but Caiaphas is the unsung prick of this story.









23. Col. Hans Landa
Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds (2009)

This guy acts like he's polite and a gentleman, etc. Really he's just a Nazi.








22. Biff Tannen
Thomas F. Wilson, Back to the Future series (1985-1990)

This guy is just a small town bully but he still manages to almost undo existence.








21. Hannibal Lecter
Anthony Hopkins, Silence of the Lambs (1991) & Red Dragon (2002)


This guy kills and eats people who he thinks are rude, that is pretty messed up. Also, he is always causing trouble, even from behind bars!






20. Hans Beckert
Peter Lorre, M (1931)

This guy molests and kills children then pleads insanity and tries to divert everyone's attention to some guys who are basically just alcohol bootleggers. Nice try buddy.







19. Mr. Blonde
Michael Madsen, Reservoir Dogs (1992)


In a movie where essentially everyone is a criminal Mr. Blonde stands out. See, the other guys just want to steal some diamonds and call it a day, but Mr. Blonde is a through and through psychopath. He's cool, calm and collected. Michael Madsen rarely takes the character over the top. He murders several people for essentially no reason, tortures another because it's fun, and every time he looks at another person you can tell he's analyzing them, deciding what he could do to them.






18. John Worthington "Honest John" Foulfellow & Gideon

Walter Catlett & Mel Blanc, Pinocchio (1940)


These guys are a fox and a cat who pretend to be cool, but they are really just pretending. They are actually severely screwing you over, selling you for profit.









17. The Shape/Michael Myers
Nick Castle, Halloween (1978)


An ambiguous, physical embodiment of evil. He knows how to drive supernaturally.








16. Jack Torrance
Jack Nicholson, The Shining (1980)


This guy let it get to him, man.









15. The Coachman

Charles Judels, Pinocchio (1940)


So this guy runs an awesome place where kids can flip out, eat candy, drink booze, smoke and generally have the best time ever. But it's a trick. This place turns you into a donkey and then you have to go bust your ass in the mine.





14. Owen Davian
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Mission: Impossible III (2006)


One of the most under rated, over looked performances of all time. Sure, seeing an Oscar winner in a broad action movie isn't exactly rare, but it is rare (extremely rare) that they actually try and give it their all. P.S. Hoffman brings his A game to this one. It's never really clear what it is he's trying to do, but it doesn't matter because you know he's really, really fucking serious about it.
13. Rodney
Snoop Dogg, Baby Boy (2001)

This character is inexplicably terrifying. There is this part where a little kid builds a structure out of pillows and then Rodney kicks it over, saying "Fuck up your little fort". What an asshole!





12. Ian "Ray" Raymond
Tim Robbins, High Fidelity (2000)


This guy is a great one because he's a villain most of us have had to face at one time or another; your ex-girlfriend's douche bag new boyfriend. He's probably only a villain in your mind, but really, that's enough.









11. Leland Palmer/Killer Bob
Ray Wise & Frank Silva, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992)


Oh my God. You pretty much have to see this one for yourself.







10. Antonio Salieri
F. Murray Abraham, Amadeus (1984)

So this guy has self esteem issues and can't stand that anyone might be better at something than he is. Being a successful musician is something that is nearly impossible to attain, especially when you kind of suck, but instead of just being happy that he was able to do what he loved for a living he had to obsessively and pathetically try to ruin someone who barely even registered his existence.





9. Dr. Zaius
Maurice Evans, Planet of the Apes (1968)


Dr. Zaius has conflicting roles in ape society. He is in charge of both science and religion, which isn't inherently conflicting in my opinion, but in this case it is. See, like an asshole, he suppresses scientific fact because it contradicts his crazy ape religion and that is the only way he can control his people. Also, he is an anti-human bigot.




8. Harry Lime

Orsen Welles, The Third Man (1949)


This guy steals medicine from hospitals, dilutes it to the point that it doesn't work, then sells it for exorbitant prices on the black market to people who are dying. He also pretends to be dead while his poor friend is busting his ass trying to figure out what happened to him.





7. Maleficent
Eleanor Audley, Sleeping Beauty (1959)


What a damn crybaby! So, the King and Queen have a baby and they throw a party. They didn't invite Maleficent because she's a miserable bitch and she bums everyone out. So instead of behaving like an adult and just getting over it she puts the whole kingdom to sleep and turns herself into a dragon.





6. Magneto

Ian McKellen, X-Men series (2000-2006)


I think Magneto is such a great villain because you can clearly see where he's coming from. While he is unarguably a terrorist, you can really understand why. Another thing I really like about Magneto, something that I don't think you see enough of in villains, he is best friends with his arch nemesis. They have ideological differences and are willing to kill each other over them if necessary, but it doesn't really seem to have hurt the core of their relationship. That's nice.




5. Frank Booth

Dennis Hopper, Blue Velvet (1986)

Holy cow, this guy is a creep!











4. The Velociraptors
Industrial Light and Magic & the Stan Winston Creature Shop, Jurassic Park (1993)

There are a lot of great movies about killer animals. Jaws, Alien, Aliens. All great movies. But I have a hard time calling them villains (for an exception see #48 on this list). They're just animals doing animal stuff. The raptors, however, seem to know exactly what they're doing. They're very clearly thinking all this through. They have distinct battle plans, hell, they can even open doors!









3. General Paul Mireau
George Macready, Paths of Glory (1957)

This guy is king scumbag. He sends his troops on a mission that he is fully aware will accomplish next to nothing and will get most of the men killed, just so he can earn another star. When the troops aren't performing to his liking he attempts to have a large number of them gunned down. When the gunmen won't shoot their own men he tries to have a hundred soldiers executed as an "example". When that won't fly he settles on three randomly chosen, completely innocent soldiers and has them killed. I really hate this guy.
2. Dracula
Gary Oldman, Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

So this guy killed a bunch of people, then got pissed off at God and drank a bunch of magic blood. This gave him a bunch of powers, like turning into a bat monster and being a vampire. He uses his powers to steal his real estate agent's girl and he turns into a wolfman and rapes her best friend. What a jerk!







1. Darth Vader
David Prowse & James Earl Jones, Star Warses (1977-1983)

Even though Darth Vader always makes these lists I still think he's let off too easy by most people. So, in the end he realizes the error of his ways and throws his boss off a ledge. Too little too late in my opinion. This guy made a very clear choice to be hateful because it was easier then he willingly became the right hand man to a genocidal dictator. He had tons of people killed, killed many people personally, literally destroyed a populated planet and he wasn't even allowed to raise his own children because he would kill them too, for Christ's sake! And in the end I'm supposed to feel bad for this guy?